You‘re already giving your loved ones an amazing present this holiday season: a present, healthy, sober YOU! But the holidays aren’t all sugarplums and mistletoe and good cheer. Lurking amongst the holly and the turkey are a number of triggers that could threaten those dealing with addiction. Fatigue, family stresses, financial strain, anxiety, complicated travel plans, and unrealistic expectations can all make you vulnerable to relapse. And they come coupled with invitations to drink and party, visits from old acquaintances who may encourage the use of drugs and alcohol, and gatherings in pubs or other places associated with past substance use. With these pitfalls in mind, here are 10 tips that can help you have a happy, healthy and sober holiday season!
1) Plan, plan, and plan some more
Knowing the triggers in the road ahead and planning strategies for dealing with them is essential. We’d recommend attending 12 step or other meetings before and after parties, dinners and events. Another great idea is arranging a “buddy system” with a sponsor or sober friend. That way you’ll have someone to talk to if stress is mounting, and someone to leave with if the need arises. If you can anticipate some of the challenges you’ll encounter, and put a strategy in place for dealing with them, you’ll be ahead of the game.
2) Exit Strategies Are Essential
Having exit strategies and ways to limit your time in difficult situations is a must, so ensure that you aren’t dependent on an unreliable friend or relative for a ride home. Being stuck in a pub full of drunken revellers, or at the distant home of a toxic relative is the last thing you want to deal with, so make sure there’s a way out. Arrange a ride home with a sober friend, make sure there will be taxis or Ubers when you need them, or acquaint yourself with bus and train schedules.
3) “Regis, I’d Like to Phone a friend”
On “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” they were called “lifelines” for good reason. If you’re in a stressful situation, talking to a trusted friend, mentor, or sponsor can be a lifesaver! If possible, arrange a network of people you can call when you need additional support. A familiar voice bearing a positive message, or just listening to you vent, can make all the difference.
4) Club Soda With a Twist of Lime
If you’re at a party and don’t have a drink in your hand, you’ll likely encounter a million offers of alcohol. Even if you’re not tempted in the least, it can be annoying and exhausting to explain to every single person in the room that you are in recovery. Having a glass of cola or club soda in hand will make those friendly drinkers who want you to have a good time talk to you about something, anything, else.
5) Be Choosy
While it’s wonderful to see people, sing carols, and experience good-fellowship and good cheer, you are under no obligation to attend every party. Make a list of the events that you’re excited about attending, and those that are vitally important for family and work. There’s no need to exhaust yourself going to every single party just to please others. The great thing about the holidays is that everyone is expected to have a busy schedule and your demurral won’t cause any offense.
6) Create New Traditions
While the old you would party hard at this time of year, the new, sober you needs to find other ways to pass the time. German researchers have found that altruistic actions activate the brain’s pleasure centers in the same way as drugs and alcohol. With that in mind, the holidays are the best time of year for volunteering. Instead of an alcohol-soaked party, why not volunteer at a soup kitchen, sing carols at a hospital, or find another way to give someone else a Merry Christmas? If that’s not for you, go ice-skating, see a movie, or plan a trip. It’s time to establish new holiday traditions that make this time of year wonderful for the new you!
7) Be Honest About What You’re Going Through
If you’re feeling stressed, getting emotional, or struggling in any way with getting through these next few weeks, acknowledge it to yourself, and don’t be afraid to let those around you know. Your loved ones want to support you, so let them know how they can help, and when you need them. You don’t have to go it alone!
8) H.A.L.T.
This is a useful acronym for knowing when to stay in, rest up, or seek support. If you’re feeling hungry, angry, lonely or tired, try to take care of these feelings before attending an event or putting yourself in a vulnerable spot. Keeping your emotions on an even keel is a key to making good decisions, so try to ensure that you’re in a good headspace before socializing. Practice self-care and make sure that you’re at your best when entering challenging situations.
9) Remind Yourself Why You’re Sober
Stay focused on why you’re going without drugs and alcohol this holiday season. Think about why you made the decision to seek treatment, why you’ve stuck with recovery and the benefits of sober living. Write down the reasons why you are sober, and why you want to stay that way, and carry them around with you. If you’re feeling vulnerable, just pop outside, or into the bathroom, and remind yourself of the reasons to say “no.”
10) Be Ready For the Let-Down
There’s a reason why so many treatment models are based on “one day at a time.” You should be aware that many people recovering from addiction are vulnerable for a relapse after the holidays end. Many alcoholics and addicts are more comfortable in a crisis then once the apparent danger has passed. While the holidays can be an especially difficult time, addiction is a lifelong condition that will remain with you once the stresses and anxieties of the season have passed. You deserve congratulations for making it through the holidays, but that doesn’t mean you should give any less energy and attention to your recovery plan.
If you’re looking for more tips on getting through the holidays sober, there are some excellent articles here, here, and here. If you’re looking for the treatment you need to experience your first ever sober holiday, maybe we can help!
For further information visit www.tabularasaretreat.com or call PT +351 965 751 649 UK +44 7961 355 530